A. - Osama's Been Hit Dart Board - If you've bin waitin' for our most popular item last fall, it's back in stock. Now you can take aim at the little prick yourself with our special steel tipped poison darts. The brightly colored dart board, composed of genuine rubber from the most recent recalls, is loads of fun for the entire family...and a steal at the low price of $99.95. If you order today, we'll throw in our favorite background music CD, titled the "Best Hits of the B-52's"...don't delay. B. - Felder Rushing Doll - With the installation of a couple of batteries, your Felder blow-up doll will begin to run around the yard, landscaping with that special southern flair that only he possesses. Each doll comes with a pre-programed CD, from which you can select various landscape styles including: 1) sort of tacky, 2) tacky, 3) very tacky, and 4) the new module, Felder does Martha. For only $399.99 you can get your entire yard planted in the afformentioned style of your choice. If you order before midnight, December 25, we'll throw in the voice activated disc that contains such memorable phrases as "Bring more compost", "I need another tire", and "Tacky is back".. For a short time only, we are offering a special on our Neighborhood Network Card for an additional $99.99, so your Felder doll can transform your neighbors yard as well. Sorry, 12-volt batteries not included. C. - Muffler Porch Rails - Our welders have been busy scouting junkyards throughout the south for these exquisite pieces. This collector edition set of carefully hand crafted rails will one day be more valuable than your house. Each original design comes complete with a plaque signed by our head craftsman Bubba, certifying its authenticity. Only $69.95 each, or $79.95 with a double coat of Rustoleum. D.- Mississippi Yard Bench w/Planters - These perfect replicas of the famed southern yard ornament can now be yours. Made from specially selected Alabama phone poles, each bench has been hand-stained from our special vats of well-aged Quaker State 10w-40. Imagine a garden filled with these lovely tire bench planters...you'll quickly become the talk of the garden club ladies in the neighborhood. We recommend a 12 month curing period before sitting down. Planters are not supplied with gaudy annuals. $299.95 each E.- Rim Jack Supports - These are original southern rim jack supports that were hand collected from oil changing ditches on various trips throughout the southeast. Unlike our competitors, we sell only top quality jack supports...no nicks or cracks. We offer these with a lifetime warranty against defects in workmanship... only $89.95 for a set of four. F. - Abandoned Southern Pickup Replica - This replica of an original 1955,6,7,8,9 Ford pickup was handcrafted by Bubba, our master craftsmen. Each freshly painted truck body comes with new chrome, but without the engine, tires, or cat. Please specify your choice of available colors: Mustard Yellow, Rust Primer Brown, Fire Engine Red, or South of the Border Blue. Each pickup body has been lined with the finest arsenic-treated plywood, and holes have already been drilled for drainage after planting. $11,995.99 each. Extended warranties are available for an additional $2,995. G. - Inner Tube Swing - Have you been gardening too hard and just want to relax...now you can. Commonly known in the south as a redneck hammock, each inner tube swing is made of the finest recycled rubber we could find at the junk yard. As a matter of integrity, we will sell no swing that has more than 15 patches. Installation instructions, an OSHA safety warning label, and 20' of rope are included with each swing. - only $129.95. Add $12 extra for any color other than black. H. - Original Southern Bird Bath - You've seen 'em while driving through the South and secretly longed to take one home, so here's your chance. Our crack team of gardening guerillas have rescued these from the raging kudzu forests along I-20 in Alabama and Mississippi. Each fountain has been restored in our shop and fitted with a fully refurbished white wall re-tread. You'll be doing your part to benefit wildlife, while becoming the envy of your neighborhood for a mere $189.95.